Men and Boys

Where to start...hmmm.  Well let's see.  I started off the day having an entertaining coffee at my local coffee shop with a man that I can't figure out if he is trying to work up the nerve to ask me out, or if I am his way of working up the nerve to ask someone else out and I am nice enough to practice  That seems to be the story of my life.  Always some man's friend.  I swear if one more guy tells me that I am like the "sister" he never had, or the "sister" he wishes his sister was...well you know where I am going with that one don't you?

It got to the time a while back, where I threw up my hands and yelled to the heavens "NO MORE FRIENDS".  I don't have enough time for the friends that I have, let alone a trail of men who want to knock on my door and tell me the woes of their dating disasters.  I would like to record my answer because it really doesn't change.  The colour of her hair does, the shape of her body, but they are all the same really.  You see my guy friends.  They are all the same age as me.  Yup, we're pushing 50, some a little bit before and a few just over the cusp, and we all have one thing in common.  We're

But that is where the similarity between them and me ends.  You see, they are 50 year old boys.  They see an ocean of woman just theirs  for the taking.  Except they want to take some 30 something, never been married (or had children) with a body of youth and perfection (in my mind anyway).  Where wrinkles are for their jeans and they can still remember when Back Street Boys was their favourite band.  I get it in an analytic superficial way.  They have the body I can only dream about, and they definitely look better after 6 hours of sleep than I do. I guess it might be easier if I was a "cougar" but there is something about sexually longing for a 30 year old that makes me think of my sons (of course how many 49 year old woman have 29 and 28 year  kinda ruins the mood.

You know I wouldn't be so "shake my head, you stupid man" if it wasn't that I didn't have to listen to this. 
                 "but I love her, do you think she loves me.  She's friends with all her old boyfriends, do you know they still like each other's pictures on Facebook.  Maybe if we had baby.  I'm not too old.  I wish she had a job, but that doesn't seem to be working out. She always wants to go out dancing and she really was good to me when we went to the concert last weekend"

I could go on, but the one that always gets me is when they say, "if only I could talk to her like I talk to you, we like the same movies and songs, and you have your life together, why can't she be more like you?"

BECAUSE I AM NOT 30 years old, STUPID!

So there we have it...I am your friend, they are your fantasy, and quite possibly your next divorce (or at least messy breakup). 

The reality is I really love you guys.  You are my friends.  You are intelligent and kind and giving and loving.  You have so much to offer.  But I won't be your second best.  So although I will be your friend and nothing more, the reason I am still single, is because I am worth more.  Because the man that I choose is a man not a boy.  He is a man who know that the lines on my face are because I am not afraid to laugh or even to cry.  That I am mature enough to want to take care of myself because together we can work toward a partnership.  The likes I get on Facebook aren't from old beau's but from people who share life experiences.  And yes, I may still want to go dancing but I promise to never drag you up on the dance floor it that's what you want. But above all... the man that I choose, will know when he looks in my eyes, that I know... he was worth waiting for.


  1. Good for you for knowing your worth. That is something only maturity brought me. Sadly some are still waiting to grow up.

  2. Good for you! I'm so glad I'm no longer single - you're right that there are so many of these men out there. Knowing your worth helps keep your perspective though. And there are some good men.


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