The Best of Both Worlds

Wow, what a week.  You know I have heard of "speed", never tried the stuff, but I wonder "me" is a "normal" person on "speed". Sometimes when I find myself looking down on me and watching me, it is this surreal out of body experience.  I think to myself, "even I am tired looking at me".  It's not that it is bad necessarily, it is just that it is soooo much.  And then you put that together with my personality and there you have a 5'2 (and 1/2 inch - very important), red haired, voluptuous, passionate woman, and it is like you are in the middle of watching a hurricane!


I find passion in pretty well anything and I just can't keep those hands still!

I was out for dinner with colleagues from work.  Suddenly the man turned to me and said, "are you Italian"? I knew where this was going.  It wasn't the first time someone had remarked on the way I wave my hands gloriously when I speak or I pace when I am trying to get a point across.  I do it without thinking.  I can't stop myself.  I have tried. It is so 2nd nature that it is only on rare moments do I actually even catch a glimpse of myself. Suddenly he reached over and grabbed my hands as I was in the middle of relaying a story.  Lo and Behold, if my feet didn't start kicking!  I lie not. As hard as I tried, I could not hold those feet in.  The guy on the other side of me had a shin bruise for a week thanks to that little experiment with my pointy toes 4 inch heel :).

But it made me think.  What does it take a person like me to sit down and breath in the quiet.?  When do I rest? When do I feed my soul? When do I let the inner soul seep into the air?



Feeding my soul on my favourite beach

I was reading another woman's blog today.  She was expressing why we choose to share on this world wide web.  We open our souls and our hearts.  We give you are tears.  We become vulnerable to planet of people that we don't know.  We take a chance to become vulnerable  to those that we do know because we always know they may happen across our words.

What does it all mean?  I think for someone like me, and maybe for many of you, the words that we write are our moments of getting beyond the busyness of life.  That passion and exuberance I have for life is real.  I can't stop myself.  I want to embrace it.  But one can not do that always.  Sometimes I need to stop, to slow, to listen to the quiet from within.  To be genuine in taking a chance that you on the other side of the wall of the technological age of communication, will read my words, and you will listen, you will hear.

I think there is a world of people out there that just want to be heard.  We want to taken for the genuine, vulnerable person that we know we are.  But busyness of life keeps us from acknowledging that we really are actually asking to be truly understood. We pretend in our "real" world that it does not matter if anyone really understands us. Our "bigger than life" persona is what other people believe we are made of. However, writing to a world of unknowns is  a bit like "dipping our toe in the water".  Each comment that positively affirms us or each tweet  tells the world that our words matter.  For we know that being "bigger than life" is a show, a catalyst for energy that we use to drive ourselves and to often drive others, but it is also our shield from all that we are afraid of.



I think I would like to think of my writing is a stepping stone to becoming a person that doesn't need technology to hide behind.  That one day I will be able to say these words to others, in honesty, in vulnerability.  One day I hope it will not be a choice between one or the other, that I will find a way to merge into one, the best of both worlds.





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