On-line dating...the Good, Bad, and the Ugly

On-line Dating! ssshhhhhh....what are you talking about? I know nothing about that....ssshhhhhhh.

 

If walls could talk...lol.  The fact is I know almost no one who has not done on-line date that is single.  And I say that loosely because the reality, although I would not call them my friends, a good percentage of the guys who have contacted me were actually married, so I don't think "marital status" really is a good indicator who uses "on-line dating services".

 I have to say, my experiences have certainly been great coffee break conversations at work.  The first time I tried on-line dating it was a little bit of an experiment for me.  Dipping my toes in the water you could say.  My friends had been harassing me for a while.  Single for 3 years, they could see the writing on the wall...hmmm...

"all she does is work...she needs a life...she needs a man...we are going to help her!"

It's been 7 years since that time but the memory is still fresh.  I remember lying on my couch, computer on my lap creating my profile. 

I kept looking around in my apartment I shared with (oh ya, just me) sure that someone would see I was doing this elicit "thing"...lol.  I refused to post a picture in case anyone recognized me and only those closest to me knew what I had done. I actually felt like a criminal. 

But I followed through on those first date invitations that came my way.  With determination and a researchers mind.  What followed was 18 dates in only three weeks.  My best night, 3 dates scheduled 1 1/2 hours apart in one night...lol.  What I discovered, I wasn't ready but the stories I got to tell each day at coffee break, brought us all to laughter.

 Fast forward to today.  I am 7 years older and suddenly posting an online profile is so common we all post our pictures.  The downside, I often come across someone I work with.  I have now entered the age where my age wants to actually find a person to settle down with but they come with children and X's and a little bit more baggage...and they want to go from meeting to relationship "Right Now".  If I knew then what I  know now I would have appreciated my past experience a little differently.

 But here I am today and we have evolved in online dating. 

We have to post pictures and be expected to answer if the picture is "recent"...then we get asked if we have "more full body shots"...and then (well you know where I am going)

• The world of online has opened up to everyone so you know that the pool of people is bigger and it is much more likely the "person" you are communicating with is "keeping their options open
• There are programs like TINDER incorporating into the dating sites where the "Meet ME" is  just a click of "yes", "no" based on the picture you posted.  It's instantaneous "REJECTION" 
  

  

  Honestly, I could go on about the downside of online dating but the reality is in our busy world and where no one seems to be able to open up a conversation in-line at the grocery store or in a coffee shop. It seems to have disappeared. I don't have an answer.  But I guess you could say I am trying harder to give it a try.  No more 18 dates in 3 weeks.  I post my picture and I read your profile.  I have learned to send you a message and my profile is "who I am...no surprises".  I would rather go into a first date with someone who knows what they might be getting into!
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• I could say I have steeled myself to rejection but the reality is "who does"?
• It's a tough world out there for those of who are not blond and 30 something females. 
• I keep in mind that it just might be a tough world out there for guys who don't lift weights and might have a little middle age spread.
• I try to remember that I am happy being single if I am happy.  With 50% of the population being single at my age it is pretty easy to find a friend to go to the movies with.

 

But every once in a while I yearn to try serial dating just "one" more time.  To meet amazing people from such a variety ways of life...to not be looking for the "one"...to try "three dates" in "one night" just one more time. 

 

Life was just a little bit simpler when you didn't need my picture, my pedigree of life...and we just spend an hour of fun together!

 But you never know...when you just might meet the "ONE"