If not now. then when?

 

And  so I return.  I took a few months of from writing.  Sometimes there are times in your life you need a break.  For me, it was one of those sideways moments.  I needed to reflect, to find my direction. 



You could put it down to the fact I am turning 50 this year but the reality is that really didn’t enter my thoughts.  I remember the day I got my driver’s licence clearly.  I also remember the day I put the car in the ditch and told the police officer I swove to avoid the deer when in reality I was turned around and was yelling at my boyfriend to “shut up”.  Oh to be 16 again.

 

The reality is that I do not want to be 16. I love who I am today.  Yes, I could do with a few less wrinkles and the body of a 30 year old is tantalizing.  But my life has been amazing. With all the up and downs… it is rich with experience.  I have had children. I have travelled. I have had great jobs.  I have been stressed…been sad…and cried for hours.  I have also laughed and had joy.

 

Today I wrote a profile for work.  What is important?  The reports I write or is the people that I work with, meet on the bus or the coffee shop?  It is really about the greetings, the smiles.  Life is about people.  At the end of the day (and I mean the end)…we do not remember the reports.  We remember the experiences.  The laughter.  The love.  It is reading a book on Skype to my grandson.  It is the smile in my heart holding my granddaughter.  It is looking at my children’s pictures on Facebook and seeing them smile.

 

My life at 50 is at least half way over or I can look at it as the “next stage”.  Who knows what the future holds.  All I know is that tomorrow I hope to wake and the future is unknown, even for a day.  I do not know but if I smile or my heart turns over…it has been a good day.

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