The Life of a Real Life Cougar!

 A couple of weeks ago I wrote a very well received piece on “Men and Boys”. It got twice as many hits as my “meaningful” blogs.  It was a “tongue in cheek” glimpse at dating for woman like me.  You know us.  We the “middle aged”.  On a good day, we might be referred to as a “cougar”.  On a bad day we are yesterday’s news. At first I thought it was ironic that more people hit up my site on the topic of dating than when I pour my soul into the “meaning of life”, but then I realized being a “cougar” is meaningful, it is part of what brings a smile to my face, and let’s face it, it creates a wealth of funny stories!

 

I can hear you “gasp”.  First of all, you really must understand that I refer to a “cougar” as a good thing.  Now before you get all bent out of shape and click “next” on your computer, hear me out.  Being a “cougar” can be an absolutely wonderful experience. After all, if someone is referring to me as a cougar, they are seeing a woman, a sexual woman, one who actually holds the possibility of snagging that young stud! What a compliment.  There is something uplifting when I am walking down the street, dressed up in my glitter (and yes in a dress that both me and a 30 year old are “allowed” to wear) and a young man pays me the compliment of tells me how good I look. 

And do you know what I have learned from these young men who are willing to approach me?  Sure, on the table is that they would like to sleep with me.  But I am a realist.  Men would pretty well sleep with anyone who they were mildly attracted to, and if a woman is willing ….I don’t need to really say any more. But I have also learned from these young men that they are starved for someone to be kind to them.  You see they are also in a dating world where if they don’t have the “right car” or the “right job” or the “right looks”, they are passed over time and time again.  Young women look at them in the same way many men my age look at me.  Like we are less than.

Now before you put it down to they are only drawn to us for the nurturing side, think again.  They see through the superficiality and know that we are more comfortable in our skins. We give back.  Sex for us is more than what you can give me, but the process of how we can enjoy each other.  We don’t put strings on our sex.  You don’t just get sex if you do the dishes, watch the children, or pay the rent.

Cougar's like to have fun in the kitchen, not wait till it's all "cleaned up".

Now many woman are afraid of being labeled a cougar.  And I admit that at one time I was one of them.  That was until I realized that the reason that there was such a bad connotation with “cougar” was that I (along with many other women) put more stock into what people think we are, instead of the potential of who I (and they) can be. If my being a cougar is only related to how old I am, if you took away the number of years that I have lived on this planet, you would be left with this.

1.       A woman who loves being a woman.  Wearing a dress, high heels, and having prettily painted toes.

2.       A woman who has a challenging job that helps her thrive in her working world.

3.       A woman who is not afraid of sexuality, but embraces it.

4.       A woman who is not afraid to love with her whole heart, even if the possibility of heartbreak might exist.

5.       A woman who knows that the lines in her face are because of laughter and of sorrow and it tells a story of who she is today.

And maybe that is the “definition of a cougar”.  A woman that sees past age, and looks for quality.  Who is willing to let herself be appreciated from anyone, not someone who is defined by a number. 

Yup, that's me, out on a Saturday Night ....looking for prey! lol