ok...taking a break
You know I promised you a blog a me. I know it's a little hard to keep up because it's probably pretty evident in only a few short blogs that I have a lot going on in my life. But that is kind of my point. If my life were simple there wouldn't really be that much to say. But as much as I think I have got a lot going on in my life, one thing I have come to realize is that "I am just NOT that special"! In fact I have a little story. For years, tongue in cheek, I have been referred to as "the Princess". Now mostly it is due to the fact that I always wear high heals and dresses and I love pretty things. The reality is that I actually get dressed in 5 minutes or less and can be found usually doing my makeup on the bus :). But somehow, I pull of the princess thing. I even moved a few years ago to an apartment on "princess street" and well that was almost perfect. Of course I upped the anti. As someone who loves to have long-winded conversations I can often be heard finishing it off with, "when I am Queen of the World" all of life's problems will be solved.
But one day, a friend was relaying a little message to me. He asked, "so do you know why I call you "princess". I preened, "because, of course, I AM a princess". He snorted. Actually the number 1 reason that I call you "princess", "PRINCESS", is that your just so much DAMM HARD work! lol.
Well, to be really honest, my friend is not far off the mark. Although I may dress in 5 minutes or less, or really be totally upfront when I tell you I don't care where we go for dinner (outside of fast food that is), I can be a "little particular". I mean, I don't remember the last time I actually went on a "second" date. And it wasn't as if there was really anything wrong with any of them. They were all really nice men. In fact, most of them I would have set up with my best friend. But for me....well maybe we'll leave the dating analyzing for another day :).
But back to "About Me" and the "Blog". Although this blog isn't about age per say, I am in the last year of my 40's and somewhere deep inside, that has to mean something. I am single and where ten years ago I thought the possibility of me still being single 10 years down the road was unimaginable, today I am more likely to imagine that I will always be "single", and to be honest, I really don't know how I feel about it. I am a woman on the verge so many career directions and possibilities and I can't imagine retirement when the reality is that I have friends that that where they are winding towards. My children have children, all are married (yes, still to their 1st spouse), and my grandchildren do call me Queen Gramma Jamma (and I do live in a castle according to our fairy tale night time stories).
I am also the heartbroken grandmother of a granddaughter who has a "life-limiting illness" that no one knows exactly what it is. I am a mother who is watching her baby girl, hold her baby girl, and I can do nothing to make that pain go away. I feel powerless.
I am a woman that loves. I am a woman that believes that love is the most important gift that any of us can give and if we are really lucky we will receive.
I am a woman who loves to write and hopes that if you do read this, you will find a kernel of something that you can put in your heart, and perhaps comfort you to know you are not alone. And if I could have something for you to take away, I would want you to takes these words in your heart and look at the people around you and know that they too are going through some of these things. We just don't know. But we can make a difference. We can love. We can reach out. We can make all of our worlds a little better.
always with love.....
But one day, a friend was relaying a little message to me. He asked, "so do you know why I call you "princess". I preened, "because, of course, I AM a princess". He snorted. Actually the number 1 reason that I call you "princess", "PRINCESS", is that your just so much DAMM HARD work! lol.
Well, to be really honest, my friend is not far off the mark. Although I may dress in 5 minutes or less, or really be totally upfront when I tell you I don't care where we go for dinner (outside of fast food that is), I can be a "little particular". I mean, I don't remember the last time I actually went on a "second" date. And it wasn't as if there was really anything wrong with any of them. They were all really nice men. In fact, most of them I would have set up with my best friend. But for me....well maybe we'll leave the dating analyzing for another day :).
But back to "About Me" and the "Blog". Although this blog isn't about age per say, I am in the last year of my 40's and somewhere deep inside, that has to mean something. I am single and where ten years ago I thought the possibility of me still being single 10 years down the road was unimaginable, today I am more likely to imagine that I will always be "single", and to be honest, I really don't know how I feel about it. I am a woman on the verge so many career directions and possibilities and I can't imagine retirement when the reality is that I have friends that that where they are winding towards. My children have children, all are married (yes, still to their 1st spouse), and my grandchildren do call me Queen Gramma Jamma (and I do live in a castle according to our fairy tale night time stories).
I am also the heartbroken grandmother of a granddaughter who has a "life-limiting illness" that no one knows exactly what it is. I am a mother who is watching her baby girl, hold her baby girl, and I can do nothing to make that pain go away. I feel powerless.
I am a woman that loves. I am a woman that believes that love is the most important gift that any of us can give and if we are really lucky we will receive.
I am a woman who loves to write and hopes that if you do read this, you will find a kernel of something that you can put in your heart, and perhaps comfort you to know you are not alone. And if I could have something for you to take away, I would want you to takes these words in your heart and look at the people around you and know that they too are going through some of these things. We just don't know. But we can make a difference. We can love. We can reach out. We can make all of our worlds a little better.
always with love.....
Comments
Post a Comment